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Grief is a natural human response to loss—something we all experience at different levels throughout life. When a loved one dies, it can feel like our life is ending too. When a marriage ends, we grieve the death of our dream for the future. When we lose a job, we go through drastic changes that can upset the whole family. Even losing a pet can be life-altering, especially for a child.

How we grieve our losses depends on many factors, including our relationship to what was lost, our expectations about life, and how we lean into God’s care. The morning my precious son-in-law died, I received a text from a woman in Argentina who had a vision of my daughter’s home and a painting that only showed the back side. The Lord said, “It will make sense when you see the other side.” I told my daughter about the vision, and she knew God was speaking directly to her, reaching out with His love and care in the midst of her grief. Throughout her husband’s four-year battle with cancer, my daughter believed the only outcome that would “make sense” of the illness of such a wonderful husband, father, and pastor would be his earthly healing. Yet her faith was not in the healing itself, but in the God who heals.

Job’s despair, depression, and grief were natural, given the extent of his loss. People who grieve today still experience the same emotions and ask the same question Job asked: Why? To help people who are grieving, don’t try to answer all their questions. Don’t minimize their pain. Instead, just be willing to listen.

After my sister, Esther, passed away, I went to a missionary retreat in Chile. On the bus ride from the airport in Santiago to the retreat site, a woman took the seat next to me and asked questions about Esther. I had been keeping my emotions contained for the sake of not being a “downer,” but they bubbled to the surface as I recounted my sister’s painful end and our precious times together. Just as it was healthy and cathartic for Job to release his bottled-up emotions, it was healthy for me to talk to someone about my sister.

One of the keys to walking through grief and depression is to stay connected rather than isolating. First, stay connected to your friends. Don’t underestimate how healing the gift of presence can be. Unburdening your heart with a caring friend brings emotional release and confirms how appropriate it is to mourn. Second, stay connected to God. Paul describes Him as “our merciful Father and the source of all comfort” (2 Corinthians 1:3). When we embrace the process of grief… When we turn toward God instead of turning away from Him… When we refuse to bottle up our emotions and instead lay our honest questions before Him… He is always present to bring comfort.