Click here to download the video.

LEW: It’s one thing to SAY the words of Job: “The Lord gave, and the Lord has taken away; Blessed be the name of the Lord” (Job 1:21, NKJV). It’s another thing to live them out. On April 15, 2024, our lives changed forever when we lost our beautiful daughter Renée in a cycling accident. Renée’s smile brightened every room. She was the best example of the Lord’s joy and love that I have ever experienced. It was an honor and a privilege to be her parents.

CHRISTINE: God gifted us with one child, and He packed so many of His attributes in this small and mighty woman. Renée loved BIG. She adored her husband Mark and always made time for people. She lived fully for Jesus and dedicated her life to Him. Renée was a brilliant theologian, writer, triathlete, professor, dancer, storyteller, musician, glitter-lover, and joy-spreader. Losing her presence in our lives has brought deep, deep, breaking grief, despite the truth that Renée is alive with her Savior. Torrents of grief still flood in sometimes, and we allow them to flow. They are unstoppable and purposeful. But we thank God through the tears. We cling, grab, glue ourselves to the promises of God that bring us life. Jesus is our Living Hope. He loves us and we love Him. He is trustworthy. God’s character remains good.

LEW: I remember asking Jesus in those early days to take away this grief over the loss of Renée. Then He whispered to my heart that this grief is like a cocoon. It’s not real pretty on the outside, but it serves a purpose. Inside the cocoon an amazing transformation is taking place. The caterpillar’s structure is completely changing, and eventually it will break out of the cocoon as a butterfly--strong, beautiful, and able to do things the caterpillar never could. Romans 8:28 says, “We know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them” (NLT). Is it really possible that God works ALL things--even grief--for good? From an earthly standpoint, this seems ridiculous. But over the last several months in God’s presence and in God’s Word, I have realized our grief really is a cocoon. I can sense Him transforming us. It is a slow process, but we don’t want to short-circuit what the Lord is doing. Eventually we will emerge from this cocoon of grief--strong, beautiful, and able to do things for the Lord that we could never do before. This grief is not the end.

CHRISTINE: In honor of Renée, we decided to plant a garden in our yard. We picked out flowers and veggies that she’d delight in and made sure to include plenty of orange--her favorite color. Memories of Renée abound in our garden! With every flower, every pepper, every tomato, we smile and remember and thank God. We rejoice in His kindness in gifting us this little space to contemplate Renée’s immense love and beautiful life. Human emotions are valid and given by God to process our grief. They can be erratic, intrusive, and overwhelming. Our grief is weighty, because our love for Renée is deep. But God has reminded us that His “delight is in those who fear him, those who put their hope in his unfailing love” (Psalm 147:11, NLT). There is God-sized Living Hope that speaks to every challenging circumstance, crisis, and heartache--even to death itself. For God’s children, death is not the end. We have the unshakable hope that, one day, we will all be together again in His presence. As we continue to grieve, we also continue to believe.

LEW: I know without a shadow of a doubt that we can keep loving Jesus no matter what we go through on this earth. He is worthy of all our love, all our devotion, all our commitment. No matter what we experience this side of heaven, Jesus is worth it. “Blessed be the name of the Lord.”